For about 3 weeks out of the month, I feel like a normal person. Then some months (thank God, not all) that last 7-10 days before my period are HELL. I don't even know if I can put in to words just how crazy and miserable and moody I get. It is so bad that I don't even want to be around myself and sometimes I really feel like I'm going to lose my ever loving mind because I can't escape myself. I feel a bottomless pit of despair in my heart. I really feel like nothing ever goes right and that life is just too depressing to live. I am set off by the most minuscule things. I constantly feel like I am on the verge of a panic attack. I feel like I can't breathe. I don't sleep well, so the exhaustion makes it even worse. I just want to run away. But I can't run away from the "thing" I most want to run away from - ME. I really wish that I could go somewhere where nobody else would have to be subjected to this. I have the most amazing and supportive fiance, but I feel terrible that he has to deal with me like this. This is not normal PMS. It can't be. Or this world would be a heck of a lot more screwed up than it already is if all women felt like this every month.
I just wish I could disappear.
No comments:
Post a Comment